'Life Hacks' That Are As Unethical As They Are Totally Genius

Reader, beware: these life hacks — albeit truly genius — are entirely unethical. And we’re not condoning them at all... But hypothetically, should you happen to read this list and try out a few of these useful-yet-mischievous tips, then you’re welcome. Hypothetically. You probably won’t regret it. Because you know what? Sometimes life is just too short to take the moral high ground.

1. Stop paying so much at the movies

You know what’s unethical? Charging people $10+ for a puny, warm soda. That’s why you shouldn’t feel too guilty when you fish someone's almost-empty movie theater soda cup out of the trash and tell a theater employee that you accidentally spilled yours. When they gallantly offer a free refill, it would be unethical of you to turn them down, right? Right?

2. Keep your flat tires for future lazy mornings

Uh oh! You just got a flat tire. Thankfully, you can easily turn a negative into a positive by keeping the flat tire for a rainy day. Take a photo of it before it’s repaired, and the next time you wake up feeling lazy, send the pic of the flat tire to your boss with a message like, “Sorry, I got a flat tire — will be a little late to work!” Now you can get an extra hour of shut-eye. 

3. A little white lie means cheaper food

It’s downright unethical to use your children for your own personal gain. Unless, of course, it means getting cheaper food. If there’s a discount for children under 12 years old at a buffet, why not use your 16-year-old child’s young appearance to your advantage? It’s not like the waiter is going to ask your kid to show a birth certificate before they eat the mac and cheese.

4. Keep retailers on the edge of their seats

Now, this hack isn’t unethical so much as it’s just smart shopping: while shopping online, add a bunch of items to your cart… and then don’t buy them. After tempting the retailer with your almost-purchase, they just might send you a promo code via email to put towards your “unfinished purchase.” It may be worth the wait!